Explore my Experiences and Journey

At Facing History, our approach and scope and sequence is rooted in how people see themselves and in society (individual and society), and in group membership (we and they). In our curriculum we start with identity and ask questions that guide educators and students to think about how they belong in the world, in a group, out of a group. What makes me me? What is normal? How do we become who we want to be or belong? These questions are complex just like identity is, and they evolve over time. How I saw myself at age 13 versus 23, and 33 are all different. Who I will become can still change, and where I want to be might be different 5-10 years from now. How my identities intersect (Black-male-queer) also play a big role in the way those questions can be answered. The way others see me or not see me can impact the way I show up in public/social spaces, at work, with friends/family, in all White spaces, in all Black or gay spaces, in wealthy spaces, and in communities who might not be accepting. Everyone is on a different journey with their identity, and in Germany I was fortunate to learn from others on where they are in their journey.

At the Gym: During my short time in Cologne and Stuttgart, I was able to have some in depth conversations with locals about their experiences with belonging in Germany. All of my conversations happened unsolicited and without me approaching or initiating anything. Near our hotel was a fitness center on a busy pedestrian street that I visited twice. I rarely go to the gym when I’m out of town for work or vacation, but it was so close and free I couldn’t resist. When I checked in there was a young man that glanced at me, and smiled. It was like he knew that I was a foreigner, because he immediately started speaking english. It was 6:48 a.m so I wasn’t expecting any small talk, let alone an in depth conversation about belonging. He asked where I was from, and how I liked Cologne. When I asked him the same question, he paused. It was like I triggered something in him. He shared that he is learning to like Cologne, and that although the city presents itself as “fun and welcoming,” it is far from that for people who are not native to Germany. He identified as biracial (Spanish-German), and found community in the city, but admitted it took a long time. Javier wasn’t considered a migrant or labeled that way by the government, but felt he was treated that way. Without any family connection moving to Germany was not easy, but he told me the Americans who moved there had a better experience. I appreciate him for trusting me so easily as a stranger, and having the courage share his experience. His story wasn’t the worse I heard from the locals, but has a common theme, a lack of acceptance. Although Cologne is very progressive as the 4th largest city in Germany and know to be “Queer City,” Germany has a long history of “we and they,” that hasn’t changed despite where they might be in 2023.

Store Clerk: The very last night in Cologne, I had a craving for some Oreos and Pringles (don’t ask why). Me and a friend I met from the program went across the street from the hotel to a local convenient/corner store. When we first entered the store, we were the only ones there. The clerk saw us looking around and was very nice when we asked for help. Then when it was time to check out, we made small talk and then other had entered the store. It was clear he felt very comfortable with us, and made a few comments about his experience at the store. Those comments led to a deeper conversation about how refugees are treated in the country by other locals. It’s not often that he has the opportunity to talk in english with customers, so he really opened up in the short time we had. As others approached the counter behind us, the clerk shook his head, looked around the store, and gave a sigh. “They have no ideas…they have no idea,” he said. “Living here and working here is not easy. I had to learn everything, and even after learning German they still don’t accept me.” We asked him later where he was from and learned he was a Ukrainian refugee, was about 55-60 years old, and just moved to Germany in the past year. He worked in different stores and had a hard time finding consistent work, due to his legal status, background or identity. In addition to learning a new language and culture, he shared that adjusting to life there was tough. Before we left we thanked him and tried to encourage him, but felt really bad. As we walked back, we wondered how many other people had similar experiences in Cologne or other German cities. This interaction had an impact on me in thinking about inclusion and belonging in another country. Also at this point I was half way through the program, and about to visit Stuttgart where I would learn more in my interactions with residents about their experiences.

Blackness in Stuttgart: For the second half of the trip I had more interactions with Afro-Germans, even though I saw fewer in Stuttgart than I did in Cologne. The biggest difference in the two cities was class. Stuttgart was more upscale and appeared more wealthy, and it was apparent if you were a “have-not.” My first interaction with a local happened on a afternoon coffee run to Dunkin. While I was trying to figure out what to order, the young man asked me in english where I was visiting from and if I liked Stuttgart. He told me he was originally born in New York and was technically Afro-Latino, but ended up in Germany because of his dad who serves in the military. He is a senior in high school and planned to attend college in Germany. I asked him how he identifies in Germany, and if he likes it better than New York. Since he spent most of his childhood in Germany he now identifies as German. He made it clear that being mixed race has not been a issue, and feels his identity and Blackness is more accepted than in the U.S. We talked about the issue of colorism, and he feels more accepted because he can speak good english, is lighter skinned, and has American roots. Germans still give him stares sometimes, but it is not the “you don’t belong here” stare that he might get in a upper-class White area in the U.S. After making my cold brew and talking for a few minutes I wished him well on his journey in college and plans to have a career in cybersecurity.

The second day in Stuttgart we ran into some young ladies on the subway from Ghana. I observed and listened mostly as my friends from the group talked and asked questions about their experiences. The conversation started because we loved their shirts and how they were representing the culture. For me it was a moment of Pan-Africanism to see the love and solidarity between Black Americans and Afro-Germans. I heard the ladies describe their experiences living in Germany, and how they were treated in each of the cities they visited. None of us were surprised by what they told us, but they mentioned instances where the service or way they were treated was different. They also mentioned the stares in certain places that were more White, or the lack of support when trying to address injustice. Berlin was recommended as the place to be for more Black representation in Germany from the diaspora. Meeting and listening to both the guy at Dunkin, and the ladies from the subway was the highlight from the locals in Stuttgart. It was so affirming to know there were other Black people in Germany that can relate, and had similar experiences to me and others in the U.S.

On the last day of the trip as we were walking to get lunch (me and one of my friends from the group), we saw a tall young Black male being surrounded by six White police officers at a subway stop. We waited a few minutes because we were so scared for him. He glanced at us (the only other Black people close to him) and looked the other way. The officers weren’t aggressive or causing any harm (that we know of). I think the trauma of what we experience in the U.S hit us, and we were hoping it did not escalate. There were so many questions we had. The guy was chill and not confrontational or threatening. Did they need six officers to detain one person? Why were they stopping him? What were his rights and how long were they going to detain him there? How are the bystanders and mostly White Germans seeing this Black male? Do they see him as a outsider, a criminal, a threat? What is the outcome? Will he be arrested? If he is a migrant or has a unclear legal status will he be deported? Although there were a lot of missing answers, witnessing that situation was a reminder that German society treats it’s people differently. It was a culmination and confirmation of everything the people we met told us about their experiences living in Germany. I left Germany wondering, what does it mean to be German? What does it take to belong, be accepted, and seen as German? When I came back to the U.S there were people asking how I was treated in Germany compared to the U.S. Although it was a better experience, belonging is never guaranteed. For those looking to belong, you can follow all the rules, do everything a group, organization, or country tells you to do, and yet still there is no guarantee that you will belong.

The Bosch Foundation: On our last day in Stuttgart we visited The Robert Bosch Foundation office first to learn about their research on diversity in Germany. The Bosch Foundation was founded in 1904 and focuses on three key area education , health, and global issues. Global issues include how to live in diverse societies, migration, democracy, peace, and climate change. Dr. Ferdinand Mirbach started his presentation with the question Does diversity enhance or threaten society? This question was asked in a survey they did in 2019 using a barometer measuring Islamophobia, Lookism (body types, shape),racism, ageism, gender homophobia, and disability. 3,000 participants ages 16 and up, from every region in Germany answered 100 questions in phone interviews. He shared the results and breakdown of responses.

Results Breakdown: Overall 68% think there is a good acceptance of diversity

What we learned: There are big regional differences in acceptance. Northern and western regions of the country are more accepting, liberal, and less religious.

The eastern region which was formerly the GDR (German Democratic Republic) pre-unification, did not have any interactions with ethnic or diverse groups, and migrants for over 40 years due to the Cold War. Their results were much different, and the opposite of the west in regards to acceptance. In this region women, younger, educated, and politically left are more accepting of diversity than those older, low income, low education, politically right. The Americans in the group weren’t surprised because the results were similar to how groups in the U.S view DEI.

Frum O Kulturen Stuttgart: The very last stop for the group was at the Forum of Cultures Stuttgart. Forum of Cultures is a non-profit that helps bring together hundreds of migrant organizations in the Stuttgart region. They offer services and programming such as cultural festivals and events, workshops, conferences, and publishes their own magazine for communities. The goal is to bring together different cultures and civic organizations to promote intercultural diversity. Some of their influence extends outside of Stuttgart. At the federal level they were a founding member of the Federal Council for Cultural Diversity. This council was created to support cultural institutions and organizations that work with them.

Some of the challenges mentioned by team leader Daniel Machalos was that Germans want the events and programming such as art, shows, food, and music, but are not willing to support the people from minority communities. He told us “Germans think they are friendly and helpful, but they are not German, they are not us.” It made me think about my interactions with locals this week who were immigrants, refugees, and people of color. There was a lack of belonging in their lived experiences and a feeling of being othered. Two young Afro-German women I met on the train in Stuttgart, shared some of their experiences in Germany with me and two Black women from our group. I also spoke with a young Afro-German male who was born in New York, and a Ulkrainian refugee who speaks eight languages and shared some of the microagressions and discrimination they faced. Although everyone I talked to did their best to adjust or assimilate, they still felt like they didn’t belong. See my post on Membership and Belonging for more details on my interactions with locals, and the way Anti-Blackness and White Supremacy impacts migrants in Germany.

Ministry of Social Affairs, Health, and Integration:

This government department is responsible for dozens of essential services for residents of Baden-Wurtemberg State which includes Stuttgart. It serves as a one stop shop for families, health, social security, support for people with disabilities, migrants, and equal rights/anti-discrimination. There were mixed reactions to the presentation from government officials especially about integration. Their goals on integration seemed to be a cover for migrant assimilation. It also demonstrated the government’s bureaucracy, and inability to be effective in really supporting the needs of different migrant groups.

DAZ German-American Center:

DAZ offers a unique opportunity for both countries (German and U.S), to build better relationships by learning and understanding each other. They do this through collaboration and bringing organizations from both countries into the same space to share perspectives about politics, culture, and life. For Germans who are interested in learning more about current events and issues in the U.S, DAZ offers classes to learn English, and on topics like racism and politics in sports, the civil rights movement and Black Lives Matter, gun violence, and more. There’s also events with authors, artists, and speakers for Germans or any English speaker to connect and have meaningful conversations about their experiences.

BFDA Anti-Discrimination Office Stuttgart:

BFDA was created in 2016 with 9-10 offices in the state. Their main goal is to support people who experience discrimination in the Stuttgart region. BFDA offers legal support, counseling, and advice on different topics. Their staffs mentioned to us that most of their work is intersectional (involving people who experience discrimination across multiple identities). BFDA also offers workshops for schools, private companies, and government officials. They have partnerships with other groups across Europe on anti-discrimination projects involving different issues such as migration, xenophobia, anti-black racism, and anti-semitism.

During our time to ask questions, staff told us that German laws on anti-discrimination are weak. The window to report discrimination is only two months. Refugees often need different types of support including counseling about their legal status and guidance on how to make a claim for a case. For workplace discrimination, companies are required to have a liaison that employees can go to for complaints, but most smaller companies in Germany don’t have liaisons. The EU made Germany create an anti-discrimination law as a member country. There was no interest by the German government in creating or enforcing any anti-discrimination laws. Currently there is also no law that fights structural racism or discrimination. Most of the protections in place are individual. Remedies for victims often take long due to bureaucracy and barriers. Laws vary in different states, but cities tend to have stronger laws that protect vulnerable classes. The most common types of discrimination that are reported include racial profiling, nationality/refugee discrimination, and workplace discrimination.

Interkulture:

Our final stop in Cologne and only stop on day three, was at a non-profit education inclusion center that serves migrants and the Muslim community. They offer classes, education assistance, and social services to families. In addition to the different services, they also provide a multi-purpose community space for artists and a park beside the building that hosts local festivals.

When we asked questions about the space and services, there was a range of challenges they told us about. The space is publicly owned by the city of Cologne and there are strict rules about even minor changes or work. Everything requires approval and takes a long time to get done. For example if Interkulture wants to paint one wall, they need city approval and have to go through a bureaucratic process. The building is older and does require a lot of maintenance which is the responsibility organization, even though the city owns it. The center serves a lot of Turkish and Muslim migrants. Dr. Bozay told us about their challenges with fighting anti-Muslim Xenophobia and racism. This includes negative stereotypes about Arab Muslim migrants being dangerous and stealing jobs. The events and programming are open to everyone but range from culture to job/resource fairs, and anti-racism workshops.

Visit with Deputy Mayor Dr. Ralph Ester and Discussion with The Department of Integration and Diversity:

Dr.Ester welcomed the group by giving us an overview of Cologne’s history and progress, while also teasing us with a list of historical and fun cultural places visitors must see. As the oldest and 4th largest city in Germany, I was impressed with the city’s investment in it’s people. While most cities in the world spend money to attract business, and place tourism or business interests before it’s citizens, Cologne has done the opposite. It’s Department of Integration and Diversity has been a national leader in making the city of Cologne an inclusive place for everyone. Their work ranges from integrating migrants into German society, LSBT programming (their LGBTQ office) including hosting the largest Pride in Europe, protecting transgender rights, and offering DEI workshops. We spent over an hour talking with the staff at the department, and asking questions related to their work in making Cologne the most welcoming place in Germany.

Visit at Rubicon:

Our visit to Rubicon gave us more insight into the work of LGBTQ non-profit work in Cologne and Germany. Their mission states that they are, “committed to the equality of different forms of life in society as a whole, for self-determination and the recognition of diverse identities.” Rubicon provides many services for various groups including seniors, families, and migrants. Some of the services they offer include health education, gender and sexual diversity trainings, anti-discrimination trainings, and mental health and anti-violence counseling. They have a staff of about 30 people serving the Cologne region. Many of the staff we talked to were trained social workers and psychologists.

Our group asked questions about how their services were impacting the most vulnerable in Cologne and throughout Germany. We discussed topics such as Transgender protections, the laws and process for transitioning, getting names and court documents changed, access to healthcare, adoption, fundraising and philanthropy for Rubicon, collaboration with other Queer NGO’s, and connections with our experiences in the U.S.

Nazi Documentation Center:

As we arrived at the center, we were split into two groups to do tours of what use to be the headquarters for the Cologne Gestapo (secret police). It was both a prison and center for torture where Jews and other groups were processed, imprisoned, or held until their final fates. This experience was very powerful and emotional. The layout of the facility is similar to how older U.S prisons were built with dozens of windowless rooms and solitary confinement cells. Seeing the names of people who were brought here, along with how they were processed and treated made my stomach turn. As both a memorial and research center, we walked through exhibition rooms that gave us a glimpse of what Nazi era Germany (1933-1945) was like locally in the Cologne region. We learned about the database of Jews during the Holocaust who lived in Cologne, and were imprisoned or murdered. Overall it was a tough experience to get through, and there were so many graphic details of what the Nazi’s did and how the space was used. I needed time and space to process or debrief everything, but we had such a tight schedule. It would also be helpful to prepare yourself emotionally and mentally before going, and to understand the history of the building as a torture facility and prison before going.

Integration House is a non-profit that provides a welcoming space for migrants to integrate into German society. They have four main goals: information, community, empowerment, and solidarity.

Information: Migrants have access to information about government services in over 7 languages. Staff at Integration House are also migrants and can speak 35 languages. Migrants can also take classes to learn German. The office is open 12 hours a day and also supports queer migrants of color.

Community: Another big part of their mission is helping migrants find community and connections. In the community space you can reserve a room to host meetings. The services provided to migrants are all free.

Empowerment: Integration house partners with media/content creators to make videos that will counter the false narratives about migrants. Another goal of the videos is to show the true contributions of the community and positive impact. They also offer space to artists ranging from poets to podcasters.

Solidarity: There are workshops that help migrants with adjusting to city life in Cologne. Some topics for workshops also include how to create welcoming spaces and collaborate with other groups of people.

University of Cologne Department of Gender and Diversity: With a staff of 10 people, this department is breaking barriers for students of color, 1st generation college students, and refugee scholars across Germany. U of C is the largest university in Germany, and has made a big impact in DEIA (diversity, equity, inclusion, accessibility) work. Their Gender and Diversity Management department is responsible for groundbreaking initiatives including their Equal Opportunities Strategy which addresses inclusion, educational equity, and anti-discrimination. They are the only university in Germany that is implementing a DEIA program of this scope.

The EU mandates all countries have a law in their higher education programs but there’s no support or specific protections at the federal level such as Title 6 in the US.

Equal Opportunities Strategy at U of C:

1. Anti-discrimination

2. Educational equity

3. Family Friendliness

4. Gender Equality

5. Inclusion (UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with disabilities

Laws prevent U of C from collecting data on race. Since race is not a category in Germany, it is difficult to track diversity.

Post colonialism Panel: The professors started by asking the group what or if we knew about Germany’s colonial past. There was a mix of responses ranging from not learning anything, to knowing Germany’s past as a colonial power, and the impact on natives. They shared one example and asked us “What was the first genocide of the 20th century?” In present day Namibia (southwest Africa), there was a genocide pre World War 1 that was covered up by Germany. The panel discussed how Germany has confronted its legacy with Namibia (former German Southwest Africa). They’ve paid back $1 billion in reparations, but did not collaborate with the community or tribes who were impacted. As the group started asking questions each of the professors discussed how Germany has confronted its colonial past. Although there was resistance for a long time, recently they noticed more openness to learning about colonial Germany and wanting to decolonize knowledge about it.

Another question asked about how Germany is decolonizing math and STEM. Professors mentioned a lack of awareness about the impact of racism and colonialism in STEM.

In more responses to questions about confronting the legacy of colonialism, the professors mentioned that race can’t be mentioned and is still taboo because of the Holocaust. When program participants asked about how German history is taught pre-colonialism, professors admitted most Europeans and Germans don’t understand or know their history.

One of the professors who was from Cameroon, shared his expertise and lived experiences. He explained in one of his responses that people make assumptions about Africans thinking they are automatically critical of the government in regards to colonialism. However people fail to understand how different identity groups intersect, and the impact of patriarchy, gender, race, and class.

Someone asked how or if the transatlantic slave trade is taught. It is not currently taught broadly in German schools the way it is in the U.S, and many don’t even know it’s part of German history. Some European countries consider it an American/U.S problem, even when countries like Sweden or the Netherlands have acknowledged their past with slavery. Germans have not fully confronted their role or how they benefited.